After the War
by Upsgirl88
Summary: Set a few weeks after Sophia dies in Season 2, Carol is telling Lori the story of how she knew Daryl while he served in the Gulf War. She knows who he is, but he doesn't seem to remember her. Carol must decide if it's the right time to remind him of a love she has never forgotten.
1. Chapter 1

"He never gave up on finding her," said a voice from somewhere behind her. Carol Peletier didn't have to turn to know it was her friend Lori Grimes, but she did turn and met her dark brown eyes. "I see the way you look at him." Lori sat down. "Thought it was just gratitude at first, but it's more, isn't it?"

Carol's eyes darted back to Daryl. "It's not that." She fidgeted with her hands, unsure of how much she wanted to say. Her sole focus for so long had been finding Sophia. Lori was right, Daryl hadn't given up on finding her. He might have been the only one who hadn't. It was Daryl who had made her believe Sophia was still out there. She had admired his perseverance at the time and then hated him for giving her hope after Sophia walked out of that barn and she watched Rick shoot the monster that had taken over her baby girl's body. Now several weeks had passed since the worst moment of her life. Carol was healing, very slowly, from her loss, though lately she'd had something - someone - else on her mind.

Lori was right, there was something more, because Carol had a secret she'd been carrying with her since the little group lived at the quarry outside Atlanta. All the people she'd met since the turn were strangers, all but one. "I'm here if you want to talk about it." Carol jumped at Lori's voice. She had gotten lost in her thoughts again, forgetting she wasn't alone. "Or I can leave, whatever you need."

What do I need? Carol wondered. Her eyes turned once again to the warm, kind face of a woman she had grown to love like a sister. Lori was a mother, just like she was. Carol had gone through a bitter stage because Lori still had her child, but it passed as quickly as it came when Lori stepped up and offered her a shoulder whenever she needed it. It wasn't Lori's fault Sophia was dead. Part of Carol would always blame Rick. But she knew she had to move on or her rage would simply consume her.

Carol cleared her throat. "How much time do you have?"

Lori gave her a smile and leaned back against the tree behind her. "Whatever you need."

Carol honestly had no idea where to start so she just spoke the first words that came to mind. "I know him. Daryl. I knew him, a lifetime ago."

The shock and confusion was etched all over Lori's face. "What? How? You know each other?" Carol nodded and glanced in Daryl's direction again. He was on the other side of the large yard, sitting outside his tent sharpening a stick with a knife. Carol noticed he did that a lot. Sometimes he looked angry and other times he looked calm, but it seemed to be a mindless act he would turn to when he wanted to think. "I - don't - understand - " Lori said slowly.

Carol felt extremely nervous as she started her story. There was only one other person in the world who knew about her and Daryl, a childhood friend who moved away to go to College and never kept in touch. It was a secret she had carried around inside her for her entire adult life. "When I was 19 I worked in a diner." Here we go, Carol thought. Was she really ready to share this with someone? Was Lori the right person? One look at her friend's face and she knew she was making the right choice. "You're a bit younger than me, but do you remember the Gulf War?"

Lori still looked confused but she nodded. "Of course."

"We sent half a million troops overseas," Carol spewed the statistics that were burned in her brain. "And Daryl was one of them." Lori's jaw dropped but she closed her mouth without speaking. Carol could remember the first moment she saw him, sitting in the cafe in his uniform with a duffel bag on the floor beside him. "I met him the day he left." She knew she was smiling and it felt good. She hadn't smiled in a long time. "He was so handsome, so young and shy." Carol's smile widened and she met Lori's eye once again. "Before I walked over to take his order I saw him trying to look at me discretely, so I gave him a smile - " Carol paused. "And he smiled back." She could see it in her mind, that half smile, the way his eyes darted away from hers and then back, so shyly. "I ran into the back and fixed my hair," Carol said laughing at how silly it sounded, but she could still see her youthful reflection in that mirror - big, bright blue eyes, and a mass of dark brown curls held back with a pink ribbon.

"He was waiting for a bus to come pick him up and take him to an army camp for training before he was shipped overseas." Carol glanced to see if Lori was still interested and it was very evident she was. "He asked if I would sit down and talk to him for a while," Carol added. She distinctly remembered how his cheeks had burned bright red after he asked her and she knew it hadn't been easy for him. At the time she had wanted to sit down immediately but she still had an hour left on her shift. "I asked him to wait until after my shift and I took him down to the pier - "

Before she could say another word they heard a voice yelling for Lori. It was her son Carl. "Be right there," she called out to him. Lori looked at her. "I want to hear this entire story. Will you just give me a minute? Please, I really want to know the rest." Carol nodded in understanding, but felt a pang of jealousy at the fact that Lori had to go play mom - something she would never do again. "I'll be back as soon as I can," Lori said, getting to her feet. She paused. "But before I go there's one thing I have to know - doesn't he recognize you? If you know it's him, how come he doesn't know you?"

Carol inhaled and let the air fill her lungs. Her admission was something that had always bothered her and something she had wanted to fix right up to the moment it became impossible to remedy. "He never knew my real name."

"Oh," Lori whispered, looking sad but just for a fleeting moment. It was replaced by excitement. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Carol watched her go and for the first time in weeks she actually felt a tingle of happiness somewhere inside her. It was such a foreign feeling in a body that was filled with nothing but loss and sadness for so long. There was so much to talk about and so many feeling to sort out, decisions to be made and things to consider.

Was this the right time to finally tell Daryl the truth? She had to get through her story first. Carol needed someone else to know before she could decide what to do. As much as she wanted to be strong and brave she just didn't want to make such a huge decision on her own. She had to be sure the time was right and she wasn't just doing it to fill a void in her heart left by Sophia. There had always been a reason not to approach Daryl with the truth. First there was Ed. Then the attack. Then the CDC explosion. Then Sophia went missing. It was just one thing after another keeping her from approaching him.

Carol stared across the yard, watching him vigorously slash at the stick. She kept watching and eventually Daryl looked up. Their eyes met, just for a moment and she was sure she caught a brief flicker of recognition. Nah, it can't be, she thought, realizing she was right when the look was gone before she'd even finished her musing. Carol looked away and sat there fidgeting with nervous excitement in a meek attempt to wait patiently for Lori's return.


	2. Chapter 2

Lori returned a few minutes later. "Sorry about that." Before her friend even had a chance to get settled Carol was already starting into her story. As the words were coming out of her mouth Carol was reliving them in her mind.

She quickly slipped back to another time in her life as she spoke. "I was so nervous. I was a teenager and here was this handsome boy who wanted to talk to me. No boys ever talked to me, let alone cute ones," Carol said with a giggle. She was the quiet, nerdy girl in the marching band, not one of the popular cheerleaders or female sports stars. Boys ignored her and for most of her life she was okay with that.

Lori interrupted briefly. "It's so good to see you smile. Sorry, please continue."

Carol blushed slightly but went on with her story. "He only had a few hours until his bus came. And I had even less time before my daddy would send out the search party because I didn't come right home from work." Her dad was incredibly strict and even at 19 she wasn't allowed any freedom at all. Carol had planned on working for a year and then paying her way to college. Somewhere far away from her strict parents. Her daddy would have lost his mind if he knew she was sitting alone on the pier with a young soldier. "But I stayed there and I talked to him until the second he had to run to catch that bus." Carol could still see him running, turning back to wave at her. She would never forget that moment because until a few months ago it was the last she saw Daryl.

"What did you talk about?" Lori prodded her, when Carol stopped talking, getting lost in the memory.

"So many things," Carol said with a sigh. "The first thing he said was that I probably have a boyfriend. And I couldn't understand why he would think that until he told me how pretty I was. He thought I was pretty. No man other than my daddy had ever called me pretty." Thinking back now Carol realized she had been pretty, in that awkward teenage way. If she hadn't been so shy and reserved, things might have been a lot different growing up.

"I bet you were every bit as stunning as you are now," Lori piped up. "Those eyes of yours are something special."

Carol blushed again, but it felt nice to be complemented, especially by a woman as beautiful as Lori. Ed had never told her she was pretty. In all her life it had only been Daryl. "He wanted to write to me," Carol said. "That's when I made the biggest mistake of my life." She was pretty sure she was going to cry, but Carol held herself together long enough to explain. "I knew my daddy would put a stop to it if I gave him my name and address so I gave him my friend's name instead. Her parents both worked long days and I knew we could always check the mail first and get my letters without getting caught. It worked too, but - " Carol sucked in a breath. "But he never knew my name. I don't know why that bothers me so much, or why I didn't just tell him the truth. I was going to. I was -" Her voice trailed off again.

Carol took a moment to compose herself and Lori patiently waited. She wanted to get back to her story so she breathed deeply and picked things up again. "He kissed me." It was an interesting place to pick the story back up, but Carol hadn't told anyone, not even her closest friends. "It wasn't technically my first kiss, but it's the only one that's ever mattered." Carol would never forget the feel of his lips as he brushed hers gently. The only other times she'd been kissed it was just stupid childish games or dares. This one was real. She had waited what seemed like forever to get a real kiss from a boy and she always thought she would freeze or mess it up somehow. But when Daryl kissed her it was natural. Maybe a little awkward, a little fumbly, especially when she wasn't expecting his tongue in her mouth, but they kept going and relaxed into something special. Carol could remember feeling things inside her, both emotional and physical that she'd never experienced. Raging hormones, a swelling in her heart, a throb between her legs - the result of several teenage years of sexual curiosity and unfulfilled desires.

Lori looked like she was going to cry happy tears. "I think I fell in love with him that very day," Carol admitted. She always wondered how she could fall for someone she barely knew, but she had and that love had grown through their letters even though they were worlds apart.

"How do you do it?" Lori gasped. "It's so obvious you still love him, even after all this time. How can you be this close to him and not tell him? How does he not know it's you?"

Carol was slightly overwhelmed with the list of questions but she picked them off one by one. "It's not easy. I knew the second I saw him - but Ed was still alive then and I just couldn't - risk the danger." Lori was nodding, she understood. "And once Sophia went missing she was all I could think about. Then we found her and my heart was ripped out of my chest. It's only been the last few days I've allowed myself to feel again." Daryl had left his campsite but Carol looked to where he'd been sitting. "And you're right, it's still there - every bit as much as it was when I was a young girl." She thought for a moment before she went on. "I look very different. I had dark, full, curly brown hair and it was so long ago. I was a girl and now I'm a woman. He looks the same though, still that same baby face." Carol smiled. "And like I said, he knew me as Leah, not Carol. And we only saw each other for a few hours." She made lots of excuses, but she would be lying if she didn't admit, at least to herself, that it hurt a bit that he didn't remember her.

"Can I be honest with you?" Carol asked, her voice just barely above a whisper. "About the real reason I haven't told him?"

"Of course you can Sweetie," Lori said, reaching out to take her hand. "You know I'm here for you, whatever you need."

Carol felt ashamed for what she was about to admit, but she said it anyway. "He's different. He's not the same boy I fell in love with. He's angry and bitter about something - life maybe. It just reminds me that I don't really know him anymore. And I'm scared -" Carol's voice broke and she had to fight to regain her composure. "I have this memory of my first love and I'm terrified that once I tell him - once we get to know one another again - that it won't be what I remembered and I'll lose that forever."

Lori squeezed her hand. "Finish your story first and then we can make a plan." Carol relaxed, filled with gratitude, once again feeling pleased with her decision to talk to Lori. Also, for the first time in many, many years there was the tiniest flicker of hope taking root inside her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, so he left, got on the bus and then - " Lori encouraged Carol to keep going with her story.

Carol thought back to that day again. "And then I got in a lot of trouble at home, but I was too happy to care. Daddy was furious." Carol was technically an adult but she allowed her parents to reign over her and accepted being grounded for the entire weekend, other than her diner shifts, as if she was a 12 year old girl. It didn't matter. All she could think about was Daryl. When her parents were both out she had snuck a quick phone call to her friend Leah to fill her in. "It was a full 5 days before his first letter arrived." Leah had stopped by the diner and slipped her a little white envelope. The 35 minutes she had to wait until break time felt like hours. Carol laughed as she spoke, "His writing was atrocious. But I could tell that he really put effort into his scribbled, misspelled words." By the end of the letter it was as if it was written in the most perfect, romantic calligraphy.

"He always started with 'Dear Leah' and ended with 'Love Daryl.' Every letter. DL. LD," Carol said wistfully. It should have been DC. He should have known her real name. "Do you know he's still never said my name to me?" Carol asked Lori. "Even now. Not once have I ever heard him say 'Carol.'"

"He will," Lori said confidently. "And when he does, you'll never forget how it sounds." She tilted her head to the side in thought. "I still remember the way Rick's voice sounded when he said 'I love you' for the first time. It was a bit hesitant. He was nervous. But I can still hear those words."

"I'm sorry that I've been so hard on him." Carol sought forgiveness in Lori's eyes. "It feels better to have someone else to blame I guess." Maybe it was Rick's fault. Maybe it wasn't. But when Daryl had lashed out at her - laying blame on Carol's shoulders for not keeping a closer eye on Sophia - she realized that perhaps he was right. Or maybe it wasn't anyone's fault. Sometimes things just happen. Terrible things can - just - happen.

Lori nodded her head. "He understands. We both do. When Carl was shot we got a small, tiny glimpse of what you're going through. It's okay," she sought out her eyes and they shared a moment of connected understanding.

When the moment passed Carol finished her story. "I wrote him every single day. And he did the same. Barely a day went by that I didn't get a letter from him. They came from an army camp in Columbia, South Carolina for a while but after several weeks he told me he was being deployed to the middle east. I kept writing him letters and saving them until I knew where to send them. "11 days," Carol said with an easy sigh. "I had to wait 11 days before I finally got another letter - actually I got 12 letters that day." Carol smiled at the memory. He hadn't missed a day of writing, the same as her. "God, Lori - I was so in love with him. This boy, this kid I had only met for a few hours." The letters were more sporadic in their delivery once he was overseas, but they always came - one for every day.

When Carol stopped talking to take a breath she saw that Lori was crying. "I'm sorry. Pregnancy hormones - and - this story - it's so beautiful."

Carol had a little more of the beautiful to get through before the heartache would take over the story. "There was one letter I got. One of the last. I could still probably quote the whole thing. He told me he was in love with me. He said that when things were tough or he was feeling lonely he would think of those few hours we spent at the pier that day. He told me that he would close his eyes and see my beautiful smile and it got him through all the terrible things that were happening. He never went into detail, but I could tell it was awful. He was so young -" Her voice trailed off. It still hurt her heart to think of what Daryl and all those soldiers must have endured. There were far worse wars than The Gulf War in terms of horrific acts and catastrophic losses for the American side. But it was the war Daryl had been in and it was the one she was most familiar with.

Carol fought with the lump in her throat and tried to get through the rest. "In the last letter I got he said not to worry but he wouldn't be able to write for a while." Carol laughed nervously. "He actually said not to worry. But he never told me why he couldn't write. So I kept writing letters to him and sending them, hoping one day he would reply again. He never did." She fought harder with the lump. Carol had lived and relived this pain over and over, but she had never shared it with anyone and it was more difficult than she thought it would be. She found strength inside and continued. "I found out later that they had started an air and naval assault but I wasn't worried until the day they deployed ground troops. But it was quick. 100 hours was all it took to declare a cease fire. 100 hours. Surely he survived 100 hours right? The next thing I knew the war was over and the troops were coming home. But still, I never heard from him." Carol felt a tear trickle down her cheek.

The pain and desperation she felt, wondering, waiting and hoping she would hear from him, while at the same time trying to hide her pain from the world. "Less than 150 combat casualties. How could he have been one of such a few number? But he had to be right? I convinced myself for months that he was just injured and he would write soon. But by the time I turned 20 and started applying for college I knew I had to accept that he was gone. He consumed 10 months of my life and then he was gone. It was over and nothing had ever hurt so much." The only pain Carol had ever felt that was even close to losing her first love was losing her daughter. And that pain was worse. Losing Sophia was like losing a piece of her soul.

"But he's not gone - he's here," Lori whispered. "And you have no idea what really happened," she added in awe, brushing away her tears.

Carol swept at her own tears. "I think a part of me always knew he was alive, but it hurt less to think he was dead than to believe he would just desert me."

Lori gaped at her in complete shock. "How did you - how - have you - held it together all this time? At the quarry? At the CDC - how?"

"I just did," Carol stated. "I had to." It hadn't been easy, but somehow she had kept it all inside, bottled up, just like she had as a teenager with a secret love.

"God, Carol -" Lori breathed. "You have to talk to him - find out what happened."

"I - um - I don't know how," Carol admitted. "And I'm scared. Maybe I don't want to know the truth. Maybe it's best to just hold that memory of him - of the boy he was - in my heart -"

"No," Lori shook her head. Her voice was confident. "Something happened. He was in love with you. You need to find out what changed. Not just for you - but for him too."

Carol was about to protest again when they heard a heated argument coming from out front of the Greene's home. "I ain't gotta tell you nothing," Daryl yelled. "If I wanna go, I'll go."

Carol and Lori shared a look and took off running. "Daryl, just calm down," Rick said as the women approached.

Daryl was angry. "I ain't gonna calm down, this is bullshit."

"Hey," Lori whispered. "Take him for a walk. Calm him down and maybe - " Her voice trailed off suggestively and she gave Carol and encouraging smile.

Carol took a deep breath. She wasn't even sure that Daryl would listen to her or agree to go with her, but it was worth a try. Tensions were high for everyone and the last thing they needed was Rick and Daryl fighting. She tightened the sweater that was tied around her waist and stepped forward. "Daryl - uh -" Her voice was timid and she knew that wasn't going to get her anywhere with him. Carol dug deep and tried again. She took another step forward and wrapped a hand around his wrist. "Come with me," she said, doing her best to make it sound like he had no choice. "Let's take a walk."

Carol gave a tug and the next thing she knew he was following her. Whether it was shock or he actually wanted to take a walk with her, it didn't matter. Daryl was following her and Carol realized she better decide quickly where they were going. The barn? Oh hell no, she couldn't even look at the barn. The pond? That was where Daryl had apologized to her after his angry outburst. It was also where she had destroyed a beautiful bush of cherokee roses in a fit of rage. Nope, that wasn't going to work either. The woods - It was the one place Daryl seemed most comfortable. That was where they would go.

Her fingers had slipped from his wrist into his hand as they walked. It felt strange. The only hand she had held like that in years was Sophia's. But neither of them let go. Was Lori right? Did she need to have this conversation? When she finally stopped, under the cover of the tree canopy, and turned to look at him Carol knew it was time. Even if the truth ripped her heart out she needed to hear it. It - was - time - - -


	4. Chapter 4

Carol knew she had to take care of the matter at hand before anything else. Even though Daryl seemed like he had calmed considerably by simply being removed from the argument she could still see anger etched on his face. She hoped it wasn't directed at her, though if it was he likely would have resisted when she pulled him away. "So, you want to tell me what that was all about?"

"Rick's an asshole, that's what it's about," Daryl spat. He gesticulated angrily, like he often did when he was worked up. "Bastard was trying to tell me that I can't go hunt whenever the hell I want to. Said I need to check in first - is he my goddamn daddy now?" It wasn't a question that was supposed to be answered so Carol stayed quiet and let him get it all out. "If this is the way it's gonna be I'm out of here."

Carol spoke slowly and calmly, "You don't mean that."

"I do. Fuck him. Fuck y'all," he kicked at the ground in a childish way that could have been amusing in a different situation. "There ain't nothing here for me anyway," he added, with a little less edge to his voice.

"Daryl, calm down. Let's talk about this…"

He cut her off. "Talk. Talk. Everyone always wants to talk. What good does talking do? We talked too long. It was too late - I - was too - late." His voice cracked slightly and Carol finally realized what was going on.

He was upset about not finding Sophia. "She's gone. You tried. We all tried. But it happened and she's gone. And we're still here." It was a strange situation, the mother of a dead child comforting a man who, in all honesty, had been a stranger to the child. It was a bittersweet moment for Carol. On one hand it felt really good to know how affected Daryl was by Sophia's loss, but on the other hand he was hurting and it brought back so much pain for her too. Carol took a step closer, hoping he wouldn't back away. She ducked and shifted to find his eyes and brought his gaze up from the ground. "You're not going anywhere."

Daryl scoffed, "No? Give me one good reason why I should stay?"

This conversation couldn't have developed any more perfectly for Carol to tell him the truth, but for some reason she couldn't get the words out. She couldn't say anything at all. The moment was there for the taking and if she didn't speak soon she was going to lose it - but still nothing would come out of her mouth. He was still looking at her and Carol was staring into his eyes - those blue eyes - a color she would never forget from the first moment she'd looked into them all those years ago. Nothing - her brain would just not allow her mouth to speak. The moment was slipping and she knew it so Carol made a different move instead. She didn't say a thing. Instead, she stepped forward, closed the gap between them and kissed the lips she had dreamed of kissing since they parted after their very first, and only, kiss.

Her face was tilted up, his head bent just slightly down. Somehow as they became adults they had ended up the perfect height for one another. Carol pressed their lips together, her entire body tingling from her head to her toes from the simple contact. She pulled back, just slightly, her tongue instinctively darting out to wet her lips before she moved back in again. This time she opened her mouth, just slightly, and when they made contact his lips felt more full and she was met with an eager reception. Her hands moved up to cup his face and Carol could feel his rough stubble under her fingertips as she urged him closer.

His lips parted and Carol sighed when their tongues touched for the first time. The sensations she was feeling throughout her body were too intense to come from a simple kiss. But this wasn't just any kiss. It was the kiss she'd been wanting for an eternity. She could feel the pressure of his hand on her lower back, drawing her closer to him. The contact burned her skin and all she could think of was the places she wanted to feel his strong hands - all those areas of flesh that were vibrating, begging for his touch.

Carol couldn't help but notice that the kiss was much easier than it had been when they were teenagers. The awkwardness was gone, likely due to experience on both their parts. They continued at a very slow and relaxed pace, though Carol could feel the build of desire both within herself and in the way he responded to her. Whether Daryl knew the truth or not - it was clear that he was enjoying kissing her.

Suddenly he jerked away and it felt like someone had dumped a cold bucket of water over her body. All the heat and passion of the kiss dissipated instantly. "Stop," he said coldly. His voice didn't match what they had just shared - not at all. "You don't want this. Me. You don't." Carol opened her mouth to speak but closed it when he continued. "I break things. Mess up everything I touch. You have enough to worry about without adding me." He looked her in the eye and repeated his first sentence, emphatically, one word at a time, "You - don't - want - this."

Carol couldn't let him push her away. Not yet. "You didn't like Rick telling you want to do. And now you're gonna do the same thing to me?"

"It's different," he mumbled meekly.

Carol reached for his hand but he shook her off. She reached out again and didn't allow him to pull away this time. "I have to tell you something."

"No," Daryl shook his head. "Don't." What did he think she was going to tell him? Carol wondered. She assumed he figured she was about to express her love and in a way she was, but it couldn't possibly be the way he was expecting.

"You need to know," Carol insisted. She searched his face, trying to figure out what he was thinking or get a sense of the emotions inside him. Daryl was usually so easy for her to read, but for some reason she just couldn't figure out what was going on in his mind.

"You think I don't know already?" he hissed angrily. "Why do you think I…" he yelled, stopping before he finished his thought. Daryl turned away from her so she couldn't see his face. She was confused by his reaction. Carol couldn't remember doing anything that would overtly indicate her feelings for him.

She kept her voice calm, hoping he would follow suit. Last thing she wanted was someone hearing their argument and interrupting. "You what?" Carol took a chance and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Why you what?" she asked again.

Carol could barely make out his words when he quietly replied. "Forget it."

It was her turn to get angry. She couldn't help it. She was frustrated. "Turn around and talk to me," she hissed, feeling her cheeks go red and hot.

Daryl turned slowly. "Do you really think I don't know?"

Carol growled. Why wouldn't he just spit it out? "Know what?"

Finally he explained and Carol felt the color drain from her face. "It took me a while. But at the CDC, that night - I was drunk. Really drunk. But I finally looked at you - really looked at you. The hair is so different. But once I realized - I saw it was all the same. Your eyes - they couldn't belong to anyone else -"

Carol could barely breath but she managed to get out a single word. "Daryl -"

She lifted a hand, wanting badly to touch his face, but he caught her wrist. "Don't," he said, his voice cold. Then he added one more word that made it all real. If she had any doubts about anything he'd said they were wiped away when that final word left his lips, "Leah."


	5. Chapter 5

Carol could see the pain etched on his face. With that one word - 'Leah,' the name he'd known her by, he was revealing a betrayal that he clearly felt very deeply. She was pretty sure no matter what words she chose or how long she took to choose them they weren't going to come out right. "Carol is my real name."

Daryl eyed her, "Figured that much."

"Will you let me explain? Please?" she pleaded.

"Not now - I gotta go - I can't - " he stammered, backing away from her. The hurt and pain on his face was physically affecting her. Carol's knees felt weak and there was a huge knot in her stomach that was growing with every foot of space he put between them.

She needed so badly to stop him. "Wait, please - don't go." But he kept going. "Daryl, please - you'll be back right? Daryl?"

"Just going hunting like I told Rick," he replied, taking his crossbow off his back. Carol relaxed slightly, both from the words and the way he said them. Even through his own pain there was a hint of something in his voice that was an attempt to calm her. Carol allowed herself the tiniest hint of a smile as she watched him disappear into the forest. He didn't want to talk and he was clearly in pain, but through that he still didn't want to upset her.

She never liked the idea of Daryl, or anyone, going out there alone. It wasn't all that long ago he came back half dead only to be shot by Andrea, who thought he was a walker. Hershel had fixed him up and he was back to his stubborn self in a few days. But it was just another reminder that it was dangerous out there. She considered chasing after him, but Carol knew that would only make him angry and quite frankly he was likely safer out there without her - without someone else to take care of.

She wandered slowly back towards the house. It was only a few hours until dark. Surely he would be back by dark, right? When Carol entered the house most of the others had settled at the table to eat dinner. "Carol? You coming to eat?" Andrea asked as she walked by.

"No thanks," she offered a grateful smile for the offer. "Just not feeling hungry right now." Carol continued towards her room. She heard a chair push back and wasn't surprised when there was a little knock at her door only seconds after she'd entered. "Come in."

Lori walked in, looking very concerned. "Hey, Sweetie - what happened?"

"He went hunting," Carol said, lost in thought.

"Oh, he went hunting," Lori repeated her words back to her. "Did you talk?"

"Yes. No. Not really." Carol looked up. "But I kissed him." The memory made her smile.

"You what?" Lori squealed, reaching for her. "Oh my God, what happened? How? Tell me."

Carol suddenly felt like a teenage girl sharing her excitement with her best friend. It had been so long since she'd had a special woman in her life that she could talk to like this. Ed kept her on too short of a leash once they married. All her friends slowly slipped away. But suddenly she had this amazing person in her life that she could talk to about anything. Lori was more than a friend, she was family - the sister she never had.

Carol took a moment to be happy and excitedly told Lori all about the kiss. "He kissed me back too," she sighed. "He has feelings for me, I could tell. It wasn't just lust - I'm sure of it."

Lori leaned over and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you."

"Well, don't be too happy - " Carol sighed again, this time in frustration as reality set in.

Lori backed away slowly with a frown. "What happened?"

Carol wrung her hands nervously. "He knows. I mean, he knew. He's known - He recognized me."

Lori gasped. "What? No way."

Carol could feel the anxiety returning. Heat was creeping up the back of her neck as she nodded. "Said he realized who I was when we were at the CDC. He's known that long."

"Wow," Lori whispered in awe. "So did you talk? What did he say? What did you tell him."

Carol shook her head sadly. "He wouldn't talk. He just - went - hunting," she said slowly.

Lori spoke quickly and confidently. "Well then you go wait for him. Take some food with you and go wait - in his tent."

Carol wasn't as confident. "What if he still doesn't want to talk? What if he gets mad at me?"

"Then you stand your ground but offer a compromise. Tell him you want to say your peace and if he's not ready to tell you anything it's okay. You'll wait." Lori's advice made sense. But Daryl was complicated. Would it actually work?

"Okay," Carol nodded in agreement. "I'll give it a try." She waited in her room for a while, giving everyone time to clear out after dinner. Lori returned with a basket of food. Carol hadn't been expecting it and she teared up slightly at her friend's kindness.

The sun was starting to set as Carol left the house and made her way to Daryl's tent. He hadn't returned yet. It felt strange unzipping the flap and stepping into his sanctuary without permission. He could see it as a complete violation of his privacy. He could get really angry with her. But all Carol hoped was that he would listen. She needed him to know why she'd lied about her name. Anything beyond that at this point was icing on the cake.

Carol sat on his cot and waited. She had no idea how long she'd been there when she finally heard movement outside. It was completely dark and most of the lights in the house had gone out a while ago. "What the fuck?" she heard him say, as he likely noticed her silhouette from the lantern she'd turned on inside. Carol heard him tugging at the zipper and finally his head popped inside. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

Carol didn't answer until he was fully inside and the flap was zipped back up. Evidently he wasn't kicking her out - just yet. "I - uh - well, I brought you supper," she got out nervously, pointing at the basket Lori had packed.

"I ain't hungry," Daryl replied, crossing his arms and staring at her.

Carol stood up. "Me neither." The tent was tiny, there was no room for him to escape her without actually leaving. "Can we talk? I need to explain -"

"No," he interrupted sharply. "No," he repeated in a softer voice, possibly in an attempt to correct his angry tone.

"I just - I need to tell you why," Carol persisted. "Don't you want to know? Don't you want an explanation?" She took a step closer to him and Daryl stood his ground. "I know I do. I have so many questions -"

"I don't want to talk about it. Any of it -" Daryl insisted. His jaw was set stubbornly and Carol realized she wasn't getting anywhere. If she kept pushing he was just going to get angry and likely take off again. She worried if she pushed too hard he wouldn't return.

"Okay," she whispered sadly. She would give him space and hope that his curiosity would open him up to listening to her story eventually. Small steps, Carol thought. A big revelation had been made already that day. Perhaps if she was just patient for a while. "I'll leave the food in case you get hungry," she said, brushing past him towards the exit.

"Carol - wait." Carol. Oh my god. He finally said her name. She stopped dead in her tracks, already bent over to unzip the tent flap. "Didn't say I wanted you to go." Carol stood up slowly. What did that mean? She wondered. What - did - it - mean?


	6. Chapter 6

Carol straightened herself and looked at him. The emotions inside her were hard to control but she managed to find her voice, "You said my name. That's the first time I've heard you say it."

"Oh," Daryl began with hesitation as if he was unsure of what to say. He clearly didn't understand the impact of his words or what it meant to her. But how could he? How could anyone truly understand but her? "Once I knew who you were I saw you as Leah. Just avoided sayin' your name so I didn't screw up."

Carol didn't want to make him uncomfortable by making a big deal of it, even though it was huge to her, so she internalized the impact of his word and let the feeling keep her warm inside. "You, um, you said you wanted me to stay - ?" she let her words trail off in a questioning tone.

Daryl picked up the basket and placed it on the bed and then took a seat himself. "Sit. Eat."

Carol moved to the bed and sat, but she couldn't resist jabbing him a bit. "Thought you said you weren't hungry?"

"Hmph," Daryl grunted something incoherent and dug into the basket. Carol felt her tummy rumbling. Now that he was back and her anxiety had eased for the moment she was reminded that she'd barely ate a thing all day. He looked down at the food in his hands while they ate in silence, but Carol studied him as she chewed. Daryl was lost in thought. He wanted to say something, she was sure of it. He didn't ask her to stay just to have company to eat dinner. She watched him lick his fingers and finally he looked up at her. She realized she'd been right when he spoke. "What if you didn't know me, like, from before?" Carol licked her lips, not sure exactly what he was asking. "Would it have still happened?"

"Would what - "

Daryl cut in, "You know. In the woods." Carol saw his cheeks start to color and she realized exactly what he meant. He wanted to know if she would have still kissed him.

His question threw her off guard. "Oh, uh - um -" Carol wasn't sure what to say.

"Nevermind," he snapped. "That's answer enough." Carol could see his face getting even redder, likely with both embarrassment and anger.

"Daryl, stop," she spoke gently. "You didn't even give me a chance to think about my answer. I've never considered what it would be like now if I didn't know you then because - well - that's all I've ever known." He met her eye, but just for a moment. He could be so shy, almost child-like at times. "The answer is yes." The words that came out of her mouth were confident. She really didn't need that much time to think about it.

His voice was as timid as the look on his face. "How do ya know?"

"Because you're a good person," Carol replied, with the utmost certainty.

"'Fore I realized who you were I treated you like shit," Daryl grumbled. "Still do s'mtimes." There was an apologetic look in his eyes.

Carol shrugged. "You treated everyone like shit. I didn't take it personally," she teased, smiling at him to make sure he knew she was joking. "But when Sophia went missing you stepped up. You didn't do that for me. You didn't do it because you know me and we have a history. You did it for her. You would have done the same thing for anyone, even if it wasn't a child - " Carol paused and waited for him to make eye contact. "Because you're a good man."

"I ain't the man - the boy - you knew anymore," Daryl replied.

Carol moved the basket off the bed and scooted closer to him. "And I'm not the girl you knew back then either. People change. It's okay." His face was filled with doubt and she needed to find a way to make him believe her words were true. Something came to her - an idea.

She started to speak, slow and calm. "Something happened to you - something you don't want to talk about. But whatever it is, it's a part of you and part of what led us to this moment." Carol put her hand in his and Daryl didn't make any attempt to pull away. "I know you'll tell me - when you're ready." She took a deep breath. What she was about to say and do was either going to be the best idea of her life or the worst decision she would ever make. "But, just for tonight let's put it all aside. I said I would have kissed you today whether we had a past connection or not."

She tried to hide her shaking hand as she reached for his face. Carol felt like her entire body was filled with butterflies creating a nervous excitement. She was terrified, but at the same time she was so filled with desire for him. It was a mixture of lust (it had been a long time since she was intimate with someone, particularly someone she was truly attracted to), gratitude (she would always be grateful for everything he did to try and find Sophia) and those intense desires of a teenage girl in love with a handsome boy (even though she promised him she was setting all that aside it was still there and there was nothing she could do about it).

There was always the chance he was going to reject her but Carol could still feel the way he'd responded to her kiss earlier before breaking it off. Would he stop her again? Maybe, but she had to try. Perhaps sharing an intimate moment would help him open up to her? Carol shook off the negative thoughts that were telling her sex would just complicate things even more. Maybe she was being selfish because she wanted this so badly. Maybe she was being stupid and impulsive. "We never know how much time we have left," she whispered out loud the very thought that allowed her to continue with her plan.

Carol moved forward slowly, inching her way towards his lips. She was giving him time to stop her if it wasn't what he wanted. That way he could reject her early and it wouldn't hurt so much if he did. She let her cheek make contact with his face first, nuzzling him gently as her lips hovered over his, so close, without actually touching. She could feel his warmth, from where their faces were touching, the heat of his breath and the increase in temperature just having their bodies so close. It was so hot - so incredibly hot.

She tilted her head just a little more and lifted her chin until their lips met. Daryl didn't stop her. Carol kissed him tenderly and drew back just briefly before kissing him again, lingering a little longer the second time. When she moved back in again she felt his hand on the back of her neck, keeping her from pulling away. Their lips parted and the kiss got deeper - far more intense than the last one had been. So far, so good, she thought as their tongues met, gliding over each other in a sultry, sexy dance.

When Daryl reached his arms around her and drew her into his lap Carol felt quite sure it was all going to be okay. This time when he broke the kiss it was different. She knew he wasn't pulling away from her, but she couldn't help but feel a little nervous until he spoke. "You sure?" he asked filling her instantly with relief. Carol nodded and closed her eyes as his lips found hers once again. Was she finally going to get what she had dreamed of for so many years? All signs pointed to yes.


	7. Chapter 7

Carol had no idea what to expect, either from him or from herself. She should have been nervous, extremely nervous to the point she was trembling, because this was the first time she'd been with a man since Ed and with him it was never satisfying, at least not since very early in their relationship. But things had progressed so fast she didn't have a chance to worry and if the kissing was any indication of how the rest would go - Carol was feeling quite certain it was going to be amazing.

Daryl's hot mouth was on her neck, sucking and nipping. She was feeling things in her body, the stirring of desire, that hadn't been that intense since she was a very young woman coming into her own and first discovering her sexuality. The feelings Daryl was creating inside her were something she'd only ever been able to do to herself and so far all he'd done was kiss her. Was he really that good? Or did she just want him that badly? It really didn't matter because either way she was going to enjoy every second.

Daryl worked his hands under the hem of her shirt and Carol shivered when they made contact with her bare skin. The feeling rippled through her entire body, resulting in goosebumps all over her. He kept his hands on her waist for a moment, but after one last hard suck on her neck that Carol knew was going to leave a mark, he grasped the bottom of her shirt and pulled it upwards. She lifted her arms and let him pull it off.

As much as she wished she wasn't, Carol felt self conscious. She leaned over and turned off the lamp. Daryl instantly turned it back on. "I wanna see you," he said, his voice low and hoarse, dripping with sexy lust.

She blushed, "But my bra - it's old - worn out." Daryl smiled. It was still a bashful smile, but it didn't stop him from reaching for her bra clasp and fumbling with it blindly until he got it undone. Carol crossed her arms so it wouldn't fall away. The nerves she thought she had avoided were showing up.

Daryl blinked at her. "Oh, did you want me to stop?" Of course she didn't. She had to quit being a fool before she ruined the moment. Carol shook her head and moved her arms, shrugging her shoulders so the straps slid down her arms. Her nipples were hard and she felt her cheeks grow warm, but she forgot all about her embarrassment when Daryl took both of her breasts in his hands. He was staring at her tits, kneading them while he spoke, not in a perverted way, but like he was scared to make eye contact. "I ain't - very good - at this, but I wanna try - for you."

He stammered his way through it, but Carol wasn't sure exactly what he meant. "Good at what? Sex?"

His eyes shot up to look at her, as if she'd wounded him. "No. Yes. Maybe. Ugh," he groaned. "Not sex. I think I'm good - uh - okay - at that part. But it's been a long time." He was blushing again and Carol felt relieved. It was nice to know she wasn't the only one struggling with her confidence. "I mean - this part - the stuff before. I don't usually -" His voice trailed off.

"Foreplay?" she offered. "You've done pretty good so far," Carol added, thinking about the way he'd kissed her.

Daryl chewed his lip and it was incredibly sexy. "I ain't never had someone that - well - someone that mattered." He released her boobs and let his hands trail down to the top of her pants. "I wanna - ya know -" he made a nod that was a gesture towards her groin region. "I mean, if you want me to?"

Holy crap, he wanted to go down on her. Of course she wanted him to. Was he crazy? The way his tongue felt in her mouth - the way he'd sucked on her neck - she had already been thinking about how that would feel down south. "I do - but -" Carol laughed nervously. "It's um - not really trimmed down there."

Daryl looked relieved. "That doesn't bother me."

"Okay."

He nodded and echoed her. "Okay." Carol realized they were both acting rather awkward and fumbling through this, but the only thing that mattered was that they were doing it together. Sex didn't have to be perfect to be amazing. Carol smiled as he started to undo her pants because she could see his hand shaking.

She covered it with her own and squeezed. "Me too," she whispered, letting him know she understood and he wasn't alone. Daryl drew in a long visible deep breath and changed position, laying her down in the middle of the cot with her legs off the edge. He bent and removed her shoes and socks and then she lifted her hips while he pulled off her pants. She was completely naked except her her panties. It got cool at night and she should have been freezing, but her body felt like it was on fire.

Daryl adjusted himself and it was the first she noticed his arousal. Her heart thudded inside her chest and she felt a slight throb start between her legs. Carol knew her panties would be damp when he finally removed them. How long was she going to have to wait to see him naked too? She wanted to touch him and feel how hard he was, but before she had a chance Daryl reached for her undies and started to work them down her legs. Daryl lifted them to his face and Carol quivered watching him.

He dropped the panties and sunk to his knees, his eyes travelling down her body. She followed his gaze right down to the brown curls, the same color the hair on her head used to be. Daryl licked his lips and whether it was intentional or not - it was so arousing she had to squeeze her thighs together in a failed attempt to ease the ache. Carol squirmed and was shocked by how wet she was - soaking wet with desire before he even touched her down there.

Daryl slid a hand up one shin, to her knee - she could see his chest moving up and down, his breathing more rapid - and gently pushed her legs apart. He groaned, looking at her mound, then pushed her legs apart even further. His breath audibly caught in his throat and Carol felt her chest pound in response. She was aching for him. She wanted to grab his head and shove his face between her legs. She needed the dull throbbing to stop - for it to turn into the most intense form of pleasure. But she waited and let him take his time because once he got started, with the way she was turned on, things would progress way too fast.

Daryl bent his head and moved in, nuzzling the inside of her thighs with the rough stubble on his cheeks. A puff of his breath tickled her and Carol squirmed again. What the hell is he doing? What's taking so long? Carol wondered. It had only been a matter of seconds, she was being totally irrational, but she wanted it so bad.

And finally she got it. One, single, solitary lick had her throwing her head back, arching, lifting her hips and whimpering. Daryl paused until she relaxed and did the same thing again. "Oh God," she hissed, clawing at the blankets under her. Daryl worked his tongue over her folds, slowly and lightly at first, before delving inside. Carol closed her eyes and lost herself in the euphoria. Seconds went by, maybe a few minutes, but Carol was aware of nothing but the activities going on between her legs.

If this was something Daryl wasn't good at she wasn't sure she could survive something he was. By the time he licked her clit it was swollen and ripe, ready to make her explode. He wiggled his tongue a few times and then sucked lightly, but only had to repeat the process a couple of times. Carol could feel her entire body tensing. Every fiber of her being was pushed to the limit - so - close - to - the - edge -

He sucked again and Carol cried out. Her body jerked and shuddered, vibrating as pleasure rippled in waves, over and over again through her body. Eventually the feelings tamed, then slowly faded, leaving her in a sleepy, relaxed state. Carol stretched and yawned before finally opening her eyes. The way he was standing there looking down at her - wow - it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. He had that same shy smile, but his eyes were lusty and there was an insecurity that was surprising. How could he be wondering if he'd done a good job? She gave him a smile and his face relaxed.

Carol sat up. Her orgasm had been amazing but the sleepiness was wearing off because she could see the bulge in his jeans and was reminded of just how badly she wanted to touch him. She looked up at him, met his eye and then reached out and rubbed him through his pants. He groaned and his knees sunk slightly. "Carol -" he started. "I need - want - please -" Daryl stopped her hand.

She nodded. She understood. Carol undid the button and pulled down his zipper, this time it was her hand that was trembling. This was really happening. They were going to make love for the first time. She bit her lip to hold back the tears of gratitude when he spoke her words back to her, while placing his hand over hers, "It's okay. Me too."


	8. Chapter 8

Carol was lying in the middle of his cot with Daryl hovering over her, naked, fully aroused, and looking like he was ready to devour her - if he wasn't so incredibly nervous. His voice cracked when he spoke and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Are you - still - sure?"

A smile broke out on her face. How could he possibly believe she would stop him at this point? It was quite endearing to see him so uncertain and tentative, but behind the gruff man with anger issues, that's really who he was - shy, reserved, a little awkward. He said he was a different man now, but Carol wasn't sure she believed that. "I'm still sure. Very, very sure."

While he continued to hesitate she took a moment to enjoy his naked form. Daryl had a very sexy body, whether he believed it or not. His shoulders were broad, but his hips were narrow. It created a V-shape that was so arousing to her. He had a few tattoos, but they didn't bother her. She didn't see anything offensive or crazy. Carol knew he has scars on his back, she had seen them before. He was self conscious about them and assuming he was abused she could completely understand and relate. The fact he'd taken his shirt off at all said a lot and she felt honored he was comfortable enough to do that with her.

Before she laid down on the bed she had touched him - she couldn't resist. He could barely stand her rubbing him through the jeans, so she hadn't lingered long. But she needed to know how his dick felt in her hands - commit it to memory and get even more excited by how hard he was.

Her body was still tingling from the orgasm, but there was also a building of arousal starting inside her - somewhere deep in her loins, growing like a fire that was being fanned. If she knew nothing else in that moment the one thing she was sure of was that she wanted to have sex with him. She couldn't think of any reason why it could be wrong - except the nagging thought in the back of her mind about protection. She could only hope he was clean. Pregnancy was a possibility, but she hadn't had her period in several months. She'd always been irregular. She was with Ed for 10 years before she finally got pregnant with Sophia and she had never used contraceptives afterwards either, yet she hadn't got pregnant with a second child. Carol pushed those thoughts away and took a deep breath as Daryl finally started to move, climbing onto the cot.

She adjusted her legs so he could kneel between them. Daryl dug down and found some strength. He grabbed her behind the knees and pulled her closer. The head of his cock was so close to her - less than an inch between them. Carol held her breath and watch his face as he closed the gap and felt the first contact between his dick and her slick heat. He looked like he was going to tear up with emotion. He looked like it was something he had wanted far longer than the few months they had known each other and Carol knew that ruse was up - whether he would admit it or not.

Daryl pushed all the way in and she sighed. It felt so amazing to have him inside her. It wasn't just the physical - even though that was absolutely incredible - but there was also an emotional attachment, realizing that two were now one and they had taken a step you can never go back from. Even if he pulled out now and didn't finish Daryl had penetrated her and they would always have that moment of union. Carol was quite confident he wouldn't be pulling out until he was good and done though.

She was surprised when Daryl reached for her hands and pulled her up. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against him, still buried deep inside her. Instead of starting to move he kissed her. It was so sensual and quite erotic to be joined like that while kissing passionately. Carol hadn't been with a man before who was the least bit romantic and she would suspect that Daryl would never consider himself a romantic either, but this moment told her a different story.

As they kissed he started to rock his hips, just slightly at first, barely moving inside her, but as they kissed longer and more passionately he moved his hips even more. Finally Carol couldn't take it anymore, she broke the kiss and leaned back a bit, giving him even more leverage to fuck her. Daryl put his hands on her hips. She had one arm around his neck and the other was free. She reached for a breast and toyed with her nipple, causing a swirling tingle, that quickly turned to an ache. Suddenly Daryl bent his head and took the other nipple in his mouth. It distracted his rhythm for a moment, but it felt too good for her to care.

When he released her the moisture from his mouth left her nipple cold when it hit the air, but the rest of her body was on fire. Using her grip on him for leverage Carol started to move with him, matching his rhythm and intensifying the feel and depth.

Daryl groaned - clearly she had intensified things for him as well. He was looking at her, apologetically and Carol realized he was getting close. She could have slowed down or stopped what she was doing, maybe helped him last a little longer, but the control she had over him was exciting. Carol was delighted by the idea that what she was doing was going to help send him over the edge. So she continued and she gave him a wicked grin to let him know exactly what she was doing. And when he finally did cum - with a grunt - she wrapped Daryl up in her arms and held him while he enjoyed the pleasure.

After a moment he finally looked up at her and Carol cupped his face. She looked him in the eye before placing a tender, lingering kiss on his lips. She didn't want to part. She wanted to stay joined and never leave their union. Reluctantly she slipped off of him, out of his lap and lay down on the bed, on her side. Daryl laid down beside her and Carol put her head on his chest. His heart was pounding against her cheek and she lay there quietly listening as it slowly returned to a normal beat.

She was sleepy and Carol let her eyes close, enjoying the warmth of their bodies. She drifted off without even realizing it until he nudged her. "Hey, wake up."

Carol rubbed her eyes. "Hmm, oh? I fell asleep?"

"Yeah, but you can't stay. You gotta go." Carol sat up to look at him. She suddenly felt nervous. Was he upset with what had happened? What was going on. "You can't sleep out here - with me."

"Oh - um - did I - did I do something wrong?" Carol asked. She was so confused and quite terrified.

Daryl shook his head and sat up too. "No, it's not - it's not that. I can't -" His voice trailed off. "Please just trust me?" His eyes were pleading with her to understand which made it even more confusing. "Can you do that? Can you just trust me?"

"I - I - I don't know. What's going on?" Carol stammered, on the brink of tears.

"Please don't - don't cry," Daryl begged her. He was getting frustrated, but so was she. "Dammit, just trust me. It's nothing to do with what just happened. Nothing to do with you. It's me. You just can't stay -" He jumped out of bed and started to get dressed.

"What are you ruining this?" Carol got out.

Daryl's eyes flashed, but he gathered himself before he spoke. "I'm not ruining anything. I'm not trying to, I mean. It was amazing."

Carol was having trouble breathing. "Then why can't I stay?"

Daryl handed her all of her clothes from off of the floor and he sat down beside her. "If I promise I will tell you soon will you trust me?" he asked, looking into her eyes. When Carol looked back she saw something she hadn't noticed before. Pain. It was killing him to do what he was doing. It was like he said - it wasn't about her, it was about him. A bit of the anxiety eased and Carol found herself nodding. "Thank you." It was only two words but they were so incredibly genuine and heartfelt she started to truly believe everything would be fine.

Carol dressed quickly and stood up. She was about to head for the tent flap when she felt his hand wrap around her wrist. When she turned he moved to her lips and kissed her. "I ain't never gonna forget this night," Daryl said, his voice barely a whisper. "Night Carol."

"Night," she whispered back, cupping his face one last time, committing the feel to memory before she ducked out. Unless she wanted to spend the unforeseeable future worrying she would just have to trust him. What other choice did she have?

Carol jogged through the dark the short distance to the house. As she passed Lori's room on the way to her own she grinned and had to stifle a giggle. She absolutely couldn't wait to tell her friend what a crazy turn of events had occurred.


	9. Chapter 9

The kitchen was bustling when Carol came downstairs the next morning. Usually she was one of the first so several pairs of eyes were on her when she wandered in much later. It had been late when she went to bed, plus the physical and emotional rollercoaster she'd been on with Daryl - - - Carol quickly chewed on the inside of her lip to avoid smiling.

She ignored the looks and jumped into the middle of the organized chaos. Once the food was ready Carol started to make a plate - but not for herself. She'd always took Daryl breakfast first because if she didn't, he just wouldn't eat. "Hey," she whispered to Lori. "Gonna take this to Daryl and come back to eat, but - uh - we need to talk."

Lori looked around and whispered back, "Oh no - is it good? Or bad?" This time Carol couldn't hold back the smile. "Oh my God," Lori said in a hushed squeal. "Okay, okay - go, but come back and eat quick - I need details."

Carol practically waltzed out the door with Daryl's plate. Luckily everyone was too busy digging in to notice. They all knew her routine by that point.

Carol always said the same thing, though it had more meaning, more truth, to it that morning. "I thought maybe today would be the day you finally came to join us for breakfast." Daryl didn't miss the irony of her words and he looked up at her and snorted. Carol handed him the plate. "Sleep well?" She asked.

"Uh huh," he nodded. "You?"

Carol smiled, "I slept in." She didn't miss the little bit of morning after awkwardness that was hanging in the air. "I'm gonna go eat, but we should talk later - right?" She wanted to kiss him, so bad, but they needed to discuss what happened between them and how to proceed.

"Talk. Right. Yeah," he muttered between bites. "Wait, you didn't tell anyone did you?" Daryl looked a bit horrified.

Carol was stunned. She wanted to tell Lori. She needed to tell someone. "Not yet, but I was going to tell Lori. Just her. No one else." She begged him with her eyes.

"She'll tell Rick," Daryl grunted. What did that mean? Was that a yes? Or a no?

"She might," Carol said hesitantly. "But they won't say anything if I ask them not to." Daryl nodded and she felt relieved. "I'll find you later," she added. He nodded again. Carol took a step but felt his hand on her leg.

She stopped. "Thank you." Carol quickly covered his hand with her own, just briefly. She squeezed and released him then walked away.

After breakfast Carol and Lori helped clean up and started to head outside to find somewhere to talk. But unfortunately Rick cajoled Lori before they got away. She gave Carol a look that promised she would find her as soon as possible and Carol went back to the spot they had talked the day before to wait.

She liked the spot because it gave her a clear view of Daryl's tent but was still far enough away he would never be able to hear what they were discussing.

He was fixing something but she couldn't quite tell what it was. She could tell it wasn't going well though and watched in amusement as he threw something and stood glaring with his hands on his hips. He was cute when he got frustrated - very childlike actually. It was endearing.

Oh boy, Carol thought, when she saw Dale approaching. Daryl didn't have a lot of patience for the older gentleman. She leaned back on a tree to enjoy the show. Eventually Daryl caught her watching and made a gesture of shooting himself in the head with a gun. Carol blew him a kiss and laughed.

"Oh my God, I thought he was never going to shut up," Lori grumbled as she approached and sat down. "Okay tell me what happened. Details - Did you kiss again? Did he talk?"

Carol knew she was smiling like an idiot. "Oh we kissed - and -" her voice trailed off.

"No way?" Lori exclaimed, with a little squeal.

"Shhh," Carol hissed, even though she was thrilled that Lori was excited for her.

Lori grabbed her hands. "Tell me more. Was it amazing? Is he good? Is he sexy under those dirty clothes?" The questions came flying out of her mouth. "I'm sorry - I just," Lori took a deep breath. "This feels so normal. Just two friends sharing laughs and secrets. I haven't felt normal in a long time." Carol understood but felt a bit sad that this had been normal for Lori before the turn. It hadn't been normal for Carol since before Ed took control of her life.

"It was so good, so so good," Carol groaned. Her cheeks were flushed both from the memory and sharing intimate details. "And let's just say there's a lot more to Daryl under those dirty clothes than I was expecting."

They both started to giggle. And that was pretty much exactly how the entire conversation went. They both shared cute little personal details and ended up collapsing with laughter.

By the time Lori decided she should go check on her son Carol's stomach hurt from laughter. Lori stood. "Hey, I just thought of something - you slept in the house - why?"

A wave of nerves washed over her. She'd been completely honest with Lori about everything but for some reason she chose to fib. "We aren't ready for everyone to know yet." That was all she had to say, assuming Lori believed her the statement was pretty self explanatory. It was also an unspoken request to keep it to herself.

"Oh got ya, makes perfect sense." Lori leaned over and gave her a big hug. "I'm so happy for you. And for him."

Carol watched Lori walk away. She decided she couldn't wait any longer to talk with Daryl. Dale had left and it looked as though he was finished with whatever he had been working on. She wandered over to him. "Wanna go for a walk?" They both knew that 'walk' was code for 'talk.' They really did have many, many things to talk about, but the only think Carol wanted to tackle was the aftermath of their evening.

They disappeared into their spot, hidden in the cover of the trees. Before they did anything else, there was something Carol needed. She touched his arm. "Hey, can -" Daryl turned and she didn't have to finish her sentence. He was moving for her already. Their lips met and Carol felt her legs grow weak immediately - luckily Daryl reached an arm around her body and held her tight. He kissed her eagerly - like he'd been waiting all morning to be alone with her - just like she had with him. Carol leaned into the kiss, enjoying every millisecond. The way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way his tongue felt in her mouth - it was almost overwhelming.

If they weren't there for a good reason Carol could have easily let it go even farther, or encouraged him to continue. But they really did need to talk so she pulled back and leaned against his chest for a moment to catch her breath. Finally she righted herself and looked up at him.

Daryl shifted from one foot to the other. He looked really nervous. It was rather odd to see him so stressed, especially after the kiss they just shared. They only needed to decide if they were going to tell the others yet or not. It wasn't that big of a deal. "Daryl?"

His eyes shot up like she'd scared him. "Gotta tell her," he muttered. Was he talking to himself? What the hell? He closed his eyes for a moment and then he blurted out a sentence that left her both shocked and confused. "I was - I - was - charged with - attempted murder."


	10. Chapter 10

Carol took a breath. There had to be a good explanation, right? There had to be. "Tell me what happened," she said calmly.

Daryl looked bewildered. "Why aren't you angry? Why aren't you freaking out? You should be running away from me."

"Is that what this is?" Carol asked. "Is this you freaking out? Is this you trying to push me away?" Daryl didn't answer. He didn't confirm or deny, but she was pretty sure she'd hit the nail on the head. "Just tell me what happened." She refused to panic before she knew the truth.

He shrugged. "It's pretty simple. I woke up with her neck in my hands. I was strangling the life out of her." The pain of the memory was etched on his face and Carol relaxed. A true murdered wouldn't show such remorse and she knew he wasn't faking. "By the time I realized what I was doing she was already passed out. I - I thought she - was - dead." He wouldn't look at her. He was staring off somewhere in the distance. "I found a pulse and called 9-1-1. They saved her and arrested me."

"But you didn't know what you were doing," Carol said gently, reaching out to touch him.

Daryl shrugged her off. "It doesn't matter. She could have died. I'm dangerous." It wasn't until he spoke those last two words that he looked at her. And it was that exact moment that she realized exactly why he hadn't allowed her to spend the night with him.

Carol wanted him to finish the story before he clammed up again. "So what happened? Did you go to jail?"

"Ha," Daryl scoffed. "Nope. I got off." He moved his crossbow to the other shoulder. "They claimed I had PTSD, from the war. I was a vet. She had a criminal record. It was pretty open and shut."

Carol was extremely confused by his tone. "Daryl? Do you think you should have gone to jail?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I didn't want to. I plead not guilty. I went along with their plan. But once it was over -" His voice broke. "I'm dangerous."

Carol reached out to him again and this time he didn't push her away. At least not at first. "You're not dangerous. You're not," she insisted.

She jumped back when he responded, snapping at her. "You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same guy - it changed me."

It - what was it? Oh God - the war. He was talking about the war. Carol gathered her thoughts and tried to organize a plan of attack. "I loved you before, during and even after when I had no idea what happened to you. I loved that boy. But I was just a girl back then. A foolish, young girl - head over heels for the handsome soldier." She could feel him pulling away, even as she spoke. "But I fell in love with you again. Not the boy - the man. And I'm not a girl anymore, I'm a woman. I've been to hell and back in this lifetime." It was the truth. She lost her first love. She married a man who beat the shit out of her. Then the world changed and she lost her baby. "The first time I've truly felt good in such a long time was in that tent with you last night. For the first time since all this happened - maybe even before - I felt like there was hope - something to look forward to - _someone_ to live for."

The struggle was evident on his face. Carol felt panic seize her, but she tried to remain calm. His walls were going up and she needed to keep them down. She had no idea what else to say. Her brain was scrambled - searching for anything she could say that might keep him talking. "Did she mean something to you?" Carol blurted. "The woman, was she important to you?"

Daryl shook his head. "Nah. Just some chick I picked up in a bar. One night stand. Trying to get over -" He didn't finish the sentence, but they both knew exactly what he was going to say. "But that doesn't matter. She made me see what I am."

"You're not," Carol raised her voice. She didn't want to yell at him but she was getting frustrated. "You're the guy who wanted to save a little girl. You're the guy who fought for his country. You're the guy that always lends a hand - "

Daryl interrupted her. "Ever heard of overcompensation? Yeah, big word for a dirty redneck, I know. But I also know what I am - and you - you deserve better."

There it was. That's what this whole thing was about. He thought he was protecting her. Carol shook her head. "I deserve you. And you deserve me." She didn't want to cry so she took a moment to hold back the tears. "After all this time we somehow ended up here - together. So many people have died, but we both survived and of all the places we could have run to we both showed up at that quarry. That's not a coincidence. That's fate."

Daryl wasn't budging. "I won't risk hurting you."

"You won't hurt me," Caryl said passionately. "I know you won't. I trust you."

"Well you shouldn't - and I - I can't let you." He started to back away.

"What are you doing?" Full on panic mode was setting in. "Where are you going? Daryl? Stop." He backed away a little more. "Why did you do it? Why? Last night. Didn't it mean anything to you? Don't I mean anything to you?" She was crying. Carol hated crying and it made her even angrier. "I won't let you do this," she added. "I won't let you." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"You mean more to me than anything else on this earth - which is why I have to go." As his words sunk in she felt dizzy. Where was he going? When would he be back?

"Daryl? Stop. Please. Don't go." He gave her an apologetic look and took off. She was too stunned to move at first and by the time she unfroze it was too late to catch up. But she wasn't going to let him disappear. No way in hell. She would go after him. Carol took off for the farmhouse and started to search for Lori.

When she finally found her she was talking with Beth inside the house. Carol caught her eye and Lori excused herself. They went to Lori's room. "Give me your gun," she said in a hushed whisper.

"What?" Lori gasped. "Why? What's going on?"

Carol was getting frantic. "Please just trust me? Quickly. I gotta go."

Lori grabbed her gun out of the drawer beside her bed. She checked the chamber and then handed it over. "Do you even know how to shoot?"

"A little," Carol nodded. "Enough." Shane and Rick had taken them all shooting a couple of times. She hoped she didn't have to fire the weapon, but if she did Carol was confident she could handle it.

"Carol, what's going on?" Lori's face was covered with concern.

"Daryl took off and I'm going after him. I gotta go," she started to leave.

Lori grabbed her arm. "No way. You can't. I'll tell Rick. Him and Shane and some others can go."

"No," Carol shook her head. "It has to be me. I don't want anyone else in danger. He left because of me. He will come back - for me."

"Carol please," Lori begged.

"Listen," Carol pleaded. "He's the reason I haven't given up. He's the reason I get up every day - and try. If he's gone it doesn't matter - nothing matters." She gave Lori a hug. "I'll find him and I'll bring him back. But if something happens to me I want you to know that your friendship has been a blessing and I love you like a sister."

Lori squeezed her tight and gave in. "I love you too. Just come back okay? Please, just come back."

Carol released her and smiled. "I will." With that, she took off out of the house, into the woods and hoped to hell her gut instinct was correct.


	11. Chapter 11

Carol had a gut feeling that Daryl wouldn't have gone too far. If he truly was concerned about her safety she really believed he would make an attempt to find a spot he could observe the farm from, at least for a little while, until he was confident she was fine with him gone. So she started her search around the perimeter of the woods, all areas that had a line of site to the farm. It took what had to be close to an hour to cover the ground before Carol started to question her gut instinct.

There was no sign of him or any noticeable evidence that he'd been in those areas recently. She was no tracking expert like Daryl but she tried to watch for bent branches, trampled underbrush or even footprints - to no avail.

Carol took a moment to rest and gather her thoughts. She wasn't giving up until she found him or died - which might come quickly from dehydration, she thought with a deep sigh. Why hadn't she taken the time to pack a bag of supplies? Ah well, when she got desperate she would sneak back for supplies, in the middle of the night when the others would all be sleeping. She could loot Daryl's tent and maybe not even have to go in the house. He had water, she knew that much.

A tinge of sadness struck her. Daryl didn't have any supplies, only his weapon. He didn't have her to make sure he ate something either. Okay, now you're just being an idiot, Carol told herself. Somehow he'd survived before she came back into his life - he was definitely far better equipped to make it out there than she was.

Carol got up and resumed her search, going deeper into the woods this time. He really wouldn't just disappear like that would he? They still had so much to sort through. At least she knew why he hadn't wanted her to stay the night with him, but his past was still mostly a mystery. Carol didn't know what happened to him during the war and after. That last letter - when he told her he wouldn't be able to write for a while was where it had ended back then. She needed to know why he hadn't wrote again or why he didn't try to find her.

None of that was why she so desperately wanted to find him though. Carol was quite certain that whether she'd known him as a young girl or not she still would have fallen in love with him in this life. And she was in love with him - deeply. She truly couldn't deny that it was strengthened by feelings from the past, but she knew that no matter how different he might be now she still loved the man he'd become. Why couldn't he believe that? Why couldn't he trust her?

Carol trudged through the brush. Why was there absolutely no sign of him? She walked, hiked, trekked and pushed herself for hours. The whole time she wandered her mind was on the past few weeks. She thought about Sophia and how much she missed her. But she also thought about the commitment Daryl had given to finding her daughter. It was the same commitment she was now devoting to finding him.

A noise caught her attention and Carol saw two walkers off in the distance. She quickly moved in the other direction. They hadn't noticed her and she was able to take a route far enough around them that she didn't have to shoot her gun. Once she was safe Carol took a minute of frustration in the fact that she hadn't even grabbed a knife. She wasn't confident in her ability to kill a walker with a knife, but she didn't have a lot of ammo and eventually she was going to run out. She mentally added that to her list of things she would pick up if she didn't find Daryl and had to go back.

It was already starting to get dark when Carol sat down again. She was exhausted, frustrated and just really, really lonely. All she wanted was to see his face and hear his voice. All she wanted was for him to trust her and give them a chance. She pounded a fist into the ground and immediately pain stung her. "Shit," she cursed out loud, when she looked at her hand. She'd hit a stick and it had cut her knuckle open. Carol leaned back against a tree and sighed deeply. She continued to do very stupid things and stupid gets you killed. If she didn't get smarter pretty damn soon she was never going to find him and she would be long dead before anyone even came looking for her.

After she caught her breath Carol got up again. She wiped the blood from her knuckle on her pants. She might have to go in the damn house after all to get something to clean and bandage it. She decided she would sneak to the edge of the woods to wait until the house lights were out so she could get what she needed. But when she stood up and looked around - nothing was familiar. Fear gripped her and panic seized her body as Carol realized she was lost.

Why the hell did I think I could do this? Why the hell didn't I just ask for help? I am such a moron. The thoughts screamed in her mind, swirling and building until she had to crouch down and hold her head. Get a grip. Fight. Be strong. The positive words were pushing their way out from somewhere inside her. This wasn't much different than those days that Ed had beat her down both physically and emotionally. Even when she wanted to give up - she never did. Carol stood. Okay, maybe she was lost, but there was still a chance she could find her way. She couldn't give up. She wouldn't.

They had learned that noise draws walkers, but something still made her call his name. "Daryl," she screamed. "Daryl." She was yelling so hard it hurt her throat. All the frustration and desperation of her search was flowing out of her as she called out to him. He had to be somewhere near. He had to be close. He had to hear her.

It was getting so dark. She needed to move. Carol started to run. She tripped and fell sprawling to the ground, then picked herself up and kept going. "Daryl," she screamed again. It hadn't worked when they were looking for Sophia. But Daryl was out there, he wasn't a monster already like Sophia had been. She had no idea where she was going. Her eyes strained, looking for lights but there was nothing. How far had she wandered?

A sound made her freeze. It was a snarl. No, it was several snarls. Without even looking she knew she was surrounded. Any second they would be close enough for her to see. How many were there? How many bullets did she have? 6? Maybe 8? 9 if she was really lucky. Carol pulled the gun out of her waistband and turned in circles, watching and waiting for the first one to appear. There - she saw one coming at her. She lifted the gun and tried to pull the trigger. Nothing. Dammit, the safety. Carol fumbled with the gun, her hand shaking as she tried to get the safety off. Finally. She aimed again and fired, hitting the walker right in the chest - exactly where she had aimed. In her terror and panic she completely forgot about the head. She knew better and now she had wasted a bullet. She raised the gun and shot again, hitting the walker in the head. It dropped to the ground and she spun and aimed again. This time she missed with the first, but hit the monster with the second shot. Oh god, there were still more, the sounds - they were coming from all directions. 4 bullets down. How many more chances did she have left?

With two shots in quick succession she dropped two more. I can't miss. I can't miss. She repeated the words in her head and somehow her shaking hand listened and her aim was true. Two more shots and two more dead walkers. The noise was getting quieter. There couldn't be too many more. But did she even have any bullets left?

She could see two more coming at her. Carol shot the first one. 9 bullets gone. She aimed at the second and nothing happened when she pulled the trigger. Shit. She was out of bullets. And the walker was close. Run. She turned and started to run, but it was so dark. She tripped on something and fell to the ground with a thud, knocking the wind out of herself.

Carol realized in horror that she had landed on top of one of the walkers she had just killed. The other beast was still coming. She scrambled to get up but it was there. Snapping. Snarling. Carol kicked and connected with it's chest, knocking it back briefly, but before she could even move it was there again. She put out her arms and shoved at it's shoulders, trying to keep it's mouth from biting her face.

In one final last ditch effort she screamed again. If nothing else, his name would be the last word she said before she died. "Daryl. Daryl."

Carol fought hard, but she was getting tired, so tired. She saw something in her peripheral vision and all of a sudden dead weight fell on top of her and the snarling stopped. She was exhausted. What just happened? The weight lifted and there was a flashlight. Someone was there. "Carol," a voice said.

Relief filled her. "Oh thank God, you saved me." She felt arms around her and she hugged him back.

"Come on, let's get you back to the farm," he helped her to her feet and Carol realized someone else was there too.

"I can't go back," she said sadly. "I have to find him first. But I need help. Will you help me?" It was time to reach out and admit she couldn't do it alone. "Rick - Shane -" she looked from one man to the other. "Help me find him and bring him home."


	12. Chapter 12

"We would help you," Rick started.

There was a 'but' coming and Carol didn't want to hear it. "Please Rick - please?"

He grabbed her arms and smiled at her. "We don't have to look for him - in fact, I expect he'll be along any minute after hearing the gunshots."

"Wait, what's going on? Daryl was - with you?" She was extremely confused.

Rick stood and helped her to her feet. "He came back, just before dark," Shane piped up.

Carol worked to catch her breath. Daryl had come back? While she was out running around in the dark looking for him? "He came back?" she whispered.

"When Lori saw him she told us everything," Rick explained. "Daryl tried to run off to find you immediately, but we talked him into organizing teams."

"So he's safe?" Carol got out, relief flooding her body.

"He's safe," Shane replied. "He's out here with Glenn. They headed North and Rick and me started South. We heard the shots and came running."

"Come on," Rick wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Let's get you back. My wife is gonna be up all night pacing until she knows you're safe."

"Don't be mad at her," Carol said. "I made her promise not to tell anyone. She was just trying to help me." Rick squeezed her shoulder, letting her know everything would be just fine.

They had only taken a few steps when a little light came bobbing towards them, getting closer and closer. "You find her?" a gruff, familiar voice said. Carol ducked away from the flashlight beam in her face. "Oh thank God." Rick released her and suddenly there were arms around her, hugging her tightly. Daryl. He was safe. She was safe. And they were in each other's arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered. They clung to one another without a single care that they weren't alone.

Shane cleared his throat and spoke. His voice sounded a bit reluctant as if he really didn't want to interrupt. "Uh, hey, where's Glenn? Did he head back to the farm?"

Daryl let go of her and shone the flashlight around. "He was following me. Glenn," he yelled, waving the beam around. "Heard those shots and I took off. He was right behind me - I thought - Fuck." Daryl looked frustrated.

"Come on, let's back track and see if we can find him," Rick drawled with a deep sigh. It was late and everyone was exhausted. "We'll make one sweep and if we don't see him maybe he's already back at the house."

Daryl led the way, followed by Carol, Rick and Shane. They had her pretty much surrounded as they walked and she felt very safe. Daryl kept checking on her. It was very sweet but she wanted him to focus on finding Glenn. Carol had a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. They were out there looking for her and now Glenn was missing - the guilt was starting already.

A while later Daryl came to a stop. "This is where we were at when we heard them shots." Carol could hear the frustration in his voice. "I came back exactly the same way - no sign of him. I could track if I could fucking see better."

"Maybe he's back at the house," Shane said optimistically. It was rather ironic that he was the hopeful one of the bunch. Carol was feeling skeptical and extremely nervous. Glenn knew how to take care of himself, but it was dark and it wasn't easy to maneuver around in the woods with just a flashlight. "Let's go -" he said. "Uh, Daryl? Which way?"

Carol smirked. She loved the fact that the two big, macho cops were relying on Daryl to get them home safely. But it was also more reason they shouldn't be out there in the dark. Daryl led them all back to the farm. The lights were on in the house and Carol, Lori, Andrea and Dale were all sitting on the porch waiting.

"Please tell me Glenn is here," Rick said hopefully as they all approached the porch.

Maggie shot up. "He was with y'all. Where is he?"

Carol watched the men share a look before Lori came over to hug her. "I'm so glad you're alright," she whispered. The women stood side by side. The knot in Carol's stomach was even tighter.

"We heard gunshots," Daryl started to explain. "I thought Carol was in danger so I ran - we ran - I thought he was following."

Maggie's voice was shaking with anger. "He's still out there? Glenn's still out there? Alone?"

Rick stepped in with a calming voice, "We retraced the path Daryl took but we couldn't find him. We'll go back out - first light - when we can see better. Daryl will find his tracks."

"He might be dead by then," Maggie hissed. "You -" she set her eyes on Daryl and took an angry step towards him. "This is your fault. And you -" Carol held her breath as Maggie moved in her direction. "If Glenn dies it's on you." Carol held her tongue. She already felt guilty. "What made you think you could go out there alone anyway?" Maggie continued. "They had to go after you. Glenn went out there to save you and now he's gone." By that point she was all up in Carol's face. Carol held her ground, but she didn't speak.

"Leave her alone you stupid bitch," Daryl growled, putting himself in between her and Maggie.

Maggie wasn't done. "Yeah, you got her back didn't you. Your precious Carol is here safe and sound. And Glenn -"

"Enough," a voice boomed. It was loud and angry enough to get everyone's attention. "This - this is NOT doing anyone any good. It's not going to help us find Glenn. And I know him, he wouldn't want this." Lori glared at Maggie and Carol saw her cheeks flush. "Everyone go - get some sleep and as soon as the sun rises the guys will head back out."

Maggie didn't apologize, but she did give both Carol and Daryl a brief apologetic look before she ducked her head and went inside with tears starting to flow. "You okay?" Lori asked Carol. She nodded and after another quick hug Lori followed Rick inside with Shane right behind them. Andrea and Dale both patted her shoulder on the way by and headed off to the RV.

It was only her and Daryl left. "Come on," she took his hand and led him to the tent. They both sunk down to sit on the edge of the bed, completely exhausted. Carol leaned her head on his shoulder.

"She was right," Daryl said, breaking the silence. "It's my fault."

Carol sighed. "No, if it's anyone's fault it's mine. If I had of just waited - you came back and no one would have had to go looking for me."

Daryl shook his head. "I heard the shots and I lost my damn mind. I should have made sure he was keeping up - but I was so scared something happened to you -" His voice cracked. Carol reached for him and Daryl turned his body to hug her. "I just want to keep you safe," he said, pulling her tightly to his chest. "You shouldn't have come after me."

Carol drew back. "Don't you see? I want to be where you are." She searched his eyes. "I can't bear the thought of knowing you're out there somewhere and never seeing you again. I did that once, I don't want to do it again."

Daryl looked so worn out. His voice was desperate. "But I can't protect you - from me."

What was she supposed to say to that? She wasn't scared of him, but he was scared of what he'd done in the past and he was terrified it would happen again. How would they get around this? He had to somehow realize that he wouldn't hurt her. Carol had an idea. "I'm going to stay tonight," she announced.

"Carol," he sighed. "You can't. I told you what happened."

"It's only a few hours until sunrise," she explained. "You're gonna sleep and I'll stay awake. Once you go I'll get a few hours sleep then."

He looked skeptical. "I don't know - what if you fall asleep. You're exhausted."

"I won't" she insisted. "I know how important this is. I'll stay awake." She smiled at him. "You try anything and I'll be ready to kick your ass." It was a joke. Not a very funny one. But Daryl smiled. "Now come on." Carol moved to the head of the bed and propped herself up with pillows. Less chance she would nod off if she was sitting up. With a sigh of resignation he climbed into bed and put his head in her lap. "Now sleep. I'll wake you when it's time to go."

Carol gently stroked his hair and within a couple of minutes Daryl was snoring softly. What an insane day it had been. While Daryl slept Carol spent the night going round and round in circles of guilt. She would forget for a moment about Glenn because she was so happy and enamoured watching Daryl sleep. Then she would remember and feel guilty for not feeling guilty. It was ridiculous, but it kept her awake.

There were a few times Daryl started to get restless, but she stroked his hair and he settled right down. Carol liked that she could comfort him - even when he wasn't consciously aware of what was happening. The birds started singing and even though it was still dark out Carol knew the sun would rise soon. She wiggled out from underneath Daryl and stretched out beside him. She would have to wake him soon.

She took a deep breath and yawned. When she opened her eyes again Daryl had rolled over and was facing her. She touched his cheek and he sighed. Carol was so tired and she knew he would wake up still exhausted, after only a few hours sleep, but she couldn't resist - she wiggled closer and gently pressed her lips to his. Daryl kissed her back instantly.

"Best wake up call ever," he said sleepily when they parted. Daryl rolled to his back and stretched.

Carol sat up and swung a leg over his body. Daryl's eyes flew open. She smiled down at him seductively. "And it's about to get even better."


	13. Chapter 13

Carol looked down at his handsome face, she could see the dark circles under his eyes. "Are you too tired?" she asked, knowing the answer she was going to get.

There was a smile in his eyes. "Nope, you?" She shook her head and leaned down to kiss him again. It was on. Carol rocked her hips while she kissed him, grinding against his groin. Even fully clothed she was getting incredibly turned on and she could tell he was too by the way he was kissing her back. He was hungry, like he couldn't get enough of her.

Carol slipped off him and stood to take off her clothes. It wasn't any sort of seductive strip tease, but a furious need to get naked and feel her skin on his. While she was pulling off layers Daryl was tugging at his shirt and kicking off his pants, wiggling around still laying in bed.

Any exhaustion she was feeling was gone at that point, replaced by a desperate need to have Daryl inside her - to be united, and feel him move deep within her body. She was naked and he was still messing around with his damn jeans. Carol grabbed them and impatiently yanked them off, followed immediately by his underwear. The relief she felt seeing him naked and aroused was overwhelming, so much that it almost made her pause - almost.

Daryl started to get up, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. She wanted to be on top. Carol straddled his body again, pressing her wet pussy against his erection. She had intended to torture him for a moment, but feeling him hard and ready, so close to where she needed him to be - she gave up on that plan.

She did take a minute to look him in the eye and then kiss him tenderly before shifting forward and moving her hips until the tip of his dick was lined up. Carol forgot about everything bad that had happened the day before the second she sunk down his shaft. Glenn was still missing and the guys would go looking very soon, but for the next few minutes it was just the two of them and Carol wanted to enjoy every second.

Resting her hands on his chest she started to ride him, slowly and sensually. Carol looked at his face and enjoyed the look of bliss and knowing that she was creating it. It was a beautiful moment and it touched her emotionally even through the lust and desire that was consuming her thoughts.

Carol felt the build starting inside her as she took him deep, rose up and took him deep again. It started slow, just a low burning in her belly, but it grew and as it did she moved a little faster. When she threw her head back and closed her eyes she felt his hands grip her ass. Carol moaned when he raised up below her, pushing his dick even deeper.

It was that moment that she gave up control and he took over. The spot he was hitting was perfect, like he was scratching an itch she couldn't reach. "Oh God, right there," she sighed, hoping he wouldn't stop. She was getting so close. The fire had filled her body and she was losing her grip on reality to the feeling of pleasure. "Oh," she cried. Her body jolted and shuddered. She tried to hold herself up as the heat rippled through her, but everything was black. Her eyes were squeezed shut and Carol could feel her pussy throbbing as it clenched his dick.

Daryl was still fucking her when she collapsed onto his chest. Her body was spent. "You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear. Seconds later his hands grasped her hips and his strokes shortened and slowed until he'd stopped moving completely. He held himself deep in her core, while the tension slowly released from his body.

Carol sighed. All she wanted was to stay there, cuddled up to his chest and fall asleep. But she heard rustling outside and realized the others must have been getting ready to head out. She rolled off of him onto the bed. She was so tired, but a pang of guilt woke her up. Glenn. He was out there.

Daryl stretched. "Guess I better go."

Carol sat up. "I'm coming too." She'd made the decision in a split second, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew it was the right choice. She climbed over him and started to reach for her clothes.

"You've been up all night. Sleep," Daryl replied, starting to dress himself.

Carol continued to put her clothes on. "Don't fight me on this, I need to go," she pleaded. "You know I feel responsible." She looked at him and Daryl nodded. He knew the feeling.

"If you get too tired I'm bringing you back," he stated in a tone that told her there was no use arguing. She nodded her head in agreement.

Lori was outside with the others when her and Daryl emerged from the tent. They got a few looks and a few smirks when people realized they'd stayed together but everyone was focused on the task at hand so any actual teasing or comments went by the wayside.

Lori gave Carol a hint of a smile and walked over. "You stayed?" she whispered.

"I didn't sleep," Carol replied. Lori's face changed to a look of amusement. "Not like that," Carol said quickly, feeling her cheeks flush with thoughts of what had just happened. "I stayed awake and he slept." Lori looked confused. "I'll explain when I get back."

"Get back," Lori repeated. "Where are you going?"

"I have to help find Glenn," Carol sighed. "He wouldn't be out there if I hadn't gone."

Lori touched her shoulder. "Don't blame yourself - no matter what happens. This is not your fault." The women shared a quick hug. Carol was touched that Lori was so supportive and relieved she didn't try to talk her out of going with the guys. "Here, you'll need this," Lori said, handing her back the gun she'd had the day before. Rick had taken it to give back to Lori. "It's fully loaded again."

"Thank you," Carol said, taking the gun and tucking it in her pants.

"And this," a voice spoke. It was Shane. Carol could sense that Lori was on edge. She always was when Shane was around even though they had sat down with Rick and aired out everything that happened. Everyone knew there was a good chance the baby Lori was carrying was Shane's, but no matter what the truth was - that baby would call Rick daddy. He handed Carol a knife. "If we don't have to shoot we won't." Carol thanked him and felt torn. She would always support Lori - be on her side - and if her friend had reservations about Shane than she wanted to keep her guard up too. But there was something about him that she had a bit of respect for. He got things done and he kept the people he cared about safe - no matter what it took. It was an admirable quality. Besides - Carol had noticed some looks between him and Andrea lately so she truly hoped he was moving on and wouldn't cause problems for Lori and Rick.

Carol, Daryl and T-Dog went in one direction, while Shane, Rick and Maggie went in the other. They agreed meet back at the farm at 10am to confer as both Carol and Rick had watches. Rick's group would just start searching, while Daryl's group would track.

Carol watched him work and was fascinated by the things Daryl spotted that she hadn't even noticed. About an hour into their search Daryl picked up on something. "I think I got him." Carol felt her heart beat faster, hoping that whatever they found at the end of the trail he was leading them on would be good. "Jesus, the kid was all over the place," Daryl grumbled. It amused Carol that Daryl saw Glenn as a kid, but it made sense as there had to be about 15 years between them. "He was chased - looks like 4 or 5 of them by these drag marks." He pointed to something but all Carol saw was the ground.

Daryl sighed and kept going. "Shit, incoming," T-Dog called out. He pointed at 3 walkers coming at them. Daryl quickly dropped one with his crossbow and then him and T-Dog stabbed the other two. Carol felt a bit useless, but it was better to just let them take care of things than to get in the way and make it dangerous.

Once they had taken care of the walkers Daryl continued the trail. "He was going in circles," he grumbled. Carol was still baffled at how Daryl would even know that. They continued on for another half hour and Daryl stopped suddenly. "It ends. Right here." He looked around. "I don't get it -" His voice trailed off.

"Hey, dumbass, I'm up here," a voice called from above. Carol almost started to cry with relief when she realized it was Glenn. In a matter of seconds he had climbed down and jumped to the ground. "I got lost after you ditched me," he said to Daryl.

"I didn't ditch you -" Daryl muttered.

Glenn gave him a skeptical look. "Gunshots went off and you were gone. I tried to keep up but my damn flashlight died. I stopped to try and fix it and I couldn't see you anywhere."

"Sorry," Daryl replied sheepishly. They started to head back towards the farm and Glenn finished his story along the way. He had wandered around a while, but once he realized he was completely lost he decided it would be easier to be found if he stayed in one spot. He found a tree and climbed up to sleep incase any walkers were around.

By the time they got back it was already 9:30. Maggie and the others would be back soon and she would have an emotional reunion with Glenn. Carol was happy for them and so relieved that Glenn was okay. But she was too tired to stay awake a second longer. "I gotta sleep," she whispered to Daryl as they watched Hershel, Dale and the others reunite with Glenn. "Come with me?" She nodded towards the house. Everyone was outside by that point.

Daryl followed her to her bedroom inside. He'd always avoided the house for the most part, only coming in when absolutely necessary. Carol kicked off her shoes and pulled back the covers. She climbed in with a sigh. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?" she asked. "And will you wake me up at supper time if I'm not up already?" She yawned and Daryl nodded, while yawning too. "Don't worry, it won't take long," she added, knowing he likely wanted to go get a little more sleep himself.

He climbed into bed with her and Carol snuggled up to his side. She was already nodding off when she felt his lips on her forehead. "Sweet dreams" were the last words she heard before she was out.

Sometime later Carol woke, still groggy and tired, but feeling a lot less exhausted. When she rolled over she bumped into something and sat up, alert. It was Daryl, snoring softly, peacefully sleeping in her bed, where she had also been sleeping herself only seconds before. Tears stung her eyes and Carol smiled. It was probably supper time by then and she should have been getting up to help, but instead she lay down, curled up against him and fell instantly back to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Carol woke again before Daryl did. She was lying on her side, propped on her elbow watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful and relaxed it made her heart swell. Every once in awhile he would smile in his sleep, just like Sophia used to do. Carol could remember watching her, she looked so sweet and innocent when she slept, even with all the bad things that happened every day in that house. Daryl was the same. He'd been through so much in his life, yet he was still able to smile when he was completely relaxed.

When he started to stir Carol wondered how he was going to react when he woke up and realized he'd fallen asleep with her. Daryl had been extremely concerned about her safety and she'd expected he would have been a restless sleeper, thrashing about and clearly having nightmares, yet she'd seen no evidence of that. Maybe he was over the worst of it, but the fear of what he'd done to that woman lingered and he couldn't let it go. All she knew was that she wasn't scared of him. Daryl would never hurt her - she was certain of that.

His eyes opened and he looked confused at first, but when his brain registered what had happened he sat straight up. "I fell asleep - Fuck - I didn't - I didn't hurt you?! " His face was white with panic.

"Shh," Carol soothed him, reaching for his hand. "When I woke up you were sleeping peacefully, so I laid back down and slept even longer. You didn't hurt me - you wouldn't. In fact - " A grin crept onto her face. "You must have been having a good dream because you were smiling."

Daryl's cheeks flushed pink. "It was - uh - it was a pretty good one." He looked at her shyly and Carol knew it was about her. "But we can't do this again. It's too dangerous." He changed the subject.

Carol shook her head. "You won't hurt me," she insisted.

"But I can't control -" He started to protest.

"Shhh," Carol interrupted. "We can talk about this later - we have a lot of other things to talk about first." She had to know what happened all those years ago that tore them apart and sent them both on completely different paths in life. She was certain though that they were meant for each other because the world fell apart and they were brought right back together. "Are you ready to talk?" It wasn't all that long ago that he wasn't ready to get into the details, but so much had happened in that short amount of time that Carol hoped he had changed his mind.

Daryl took a deep breath and nodded at her. "Yeah, but can we just get some food first? I'm starving." Carol's body and mind were filled with instant relief which allowed her stomach to remember it hadn't eaten anything in a long time.

"Sure, let's go." They headed to the kitchen and found leftovers in the fridge. Everyone else had already eaten and they were scattered about doing stuff and things. Carol made some sandwiches and they sat alone at the dining room table to eat. Daryl helped her clean up when they were finished. "My room? Yours?" She asked.

"Neither," Daryl replied. Carol wasn't sure where he had in mind. "There's a farmhouse, not that far down the road. It's been looted, but it's empty and safe."

"Should we go there? At night?" Carol wasn't so sure it was a good idea.

He looked a bit wounded. "I'll keep you safe."

Carol touched his leg under the table. "I know you will."

"I just - I don't wanna do this here. Too many people." He looked at her and Carol understood.

Well, if they were going to do it, might as well do it right. "Let's stay there for the night," she said. Daryl seemed to consider the idea for a moment and then nodded. "I'll meet you outside in a few minutes." Carol would be prepared this time - she wasn't heading anywhere without supplies. She packed a change of clothes, food, her toothbrush and anything else she could think of that they might need, including flashlights and candles - assuming there wouldn't be any power. Once she had everything she needed Carol slung the backpack on and went to find Lori.

She found her playing Monopoly with Carl and Beth. "Hey, Daryl and I are going to the farm down the road for the night," Carol whispered to Lori. "We need a little more privacy to talk."

Even though she'd spoke quietly Beth heard. "You're going out there at night? Isn't that dangerous?"

Carol gave her a smile. She hadn't interacted much with Beth because of everything with Sophia and Beth had her own issues after they cleared the barn. "Daryl will keep me safe," Carol replied confidently. She also made a silent vow to learn to protect herself. The last thing Carol wanted to be was a burden.

There was a strange, wistful smile on Beth's face as she nodded and Carol realized that blondie was developing a little crush on her handsome redneck. Who could blame her though? Daryl's attitude was a little rough, but the man was gorgeous. He was also new and mysterious. And he was also old enough to be her father. Oh well, it would be clear to everyone soon, if it wasn't already, that her and Daryl were together.

"Be safe," Lori said, giving her a hug. She whispered in her ear while they were hugging so the kids couldn't hear. "I want all the details when you get back. Have fun."

Clearly Lori thought they wanted to be alone for a lot more than just talking, though Carol hadn't even considered that angle until right then. It would be nice to be fully alone with Daryl, knowing they didn't have ears and eyes all around. But they had a lot to get through first, and Carol had no idea how the chat was going to go.

When she got outside Daryl was waiting by the bike. She'd never been on a motorcycle before but she wasn't nervous because she would be with him. He started the bike and got on. Carol climbed on the back. She wrapped her arms around his waist and they were off. The farm wasn't far and in only a few minutes they were pulling in the drive. In a world that was safer they likely could have walked to the neighboring farm in 10 minutes.

They parked the bike and Daryl led the way up the steps onto the porch. "Here," he pulled out his knife and handed it to her. "Stay close, we'll make sure it's still clear." Carol followed him through the house and they checked the rooms one by one until they were back at the entrance. "It's all good." Daryl lowered his crossbow and Carol handed him back the knife.

Carol went to the kitchen table and set her backpack down. She opened it and took out the candles she'd packed. She set them around the room with a couple on the table and then lit them. It was just the right amount of light so they could see each other and see what they were doing without having to use the flashlights. She sat down and waited for Daryl to join her. He wandered around a bit and finally took a seat across from her.

"Where do we start?" Carol asked. She really wasn't sure who should go first. Daryl tapped his fingers on the table several times without speaking. He was nervous and she hated it. She started rethinking her need to know the truth. Did it really matter that much? Did she really need to know? He had brought her there willing to talk, but Carol knew he was doing it for her. Would it really have any bearing on their future to dredge up the past? She knew she would have fallen in love with the man he is now, whether they had a history or not.

Daryl opened his mouth to speak and she jumped in. "Wait, we don't have to do this," Carol blurted out. She got up and switched chairs so they were closer and she could take his hands. "I don't care what happened. I don't. If you want to tell me someday I will gladly listen, but I need you to know it doesn't matter. I love you Daryl. I loved you back then, that boy, but he's gone and that's okay because I love you now - just like this." Carol could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but she also felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. It felt so good to just let go of the past and to accept that it truly didn't matter. It was thrilling and exciting.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice timid and hesitant. "I'll do this for you because I don't want to lose you."

Carol shook her head. "No, I don't want it and I don't need it. If you ever want to talk because you need to - for you, I'll be here. But I can't force you to do something you're not ready to do. I promise you it doesn't matter to me. It's in the past. We have both been through so much, but there's no going back - there's no changing it. We're here now. Let's just be here - together."

Daryl played with her fingers and Carol felt goosebumps cover her body. It wasn't meant to be sexual, but it was arousing to her, so sensual and intimate. "I would rather forget it all," he whispered. "I know I ain't gonna ever forget, but I wish I could."

Carol touched his face. "I have a lot of things I wish I could forget too, but those things brought us here. After all this time, somehow our circumstances brought us back together and I'm thankful for that."

"Me too," Daryl agreed, giving her one of his shy smiles. "I - uh - I just need you to know - " He cleared his throat. "I never stopped loving you. I never will." Even in the candlelight she could tell he was blushing. "I ain't good at this romantic crap - at talking about how I feel," he shook his head. "I ain't always gonna say it right and I probably ain't gonna say it enough - but I really do love you Carol."

With tears in her eyes she smiled at him. "I know." She kissed him, soft and sweet. "So, uh, we have this big house all to ourselves - and we're all done talking -" She gave him a suggestive look. "What should we do now?"

Daryl pulled her down into his lap. "I think I might have a couple ideas."


	15. Chapter 15

Carol sat at the table, watching and waiting. Instead of opting to just go into one of the bedrooms in the house Daryl was putting together a makeshift bed on the kitchen floor. They already had candles set up and the room had a very romantic glow. Neither of them were overly picky anyway - they had slept on the hard ground, cement floors, car seats and more.

It was really charming watching him though. They were both extremely turned on after the makeout session they had just had with her in his lap. He was scrambling trying to work quickly, but at the same time he was being very perfectionistic about the whole thing.

The last thing he brought out were two pillows. "There," he said, stepping back. "Done." Carol smiled. He must have gathered every blanket, duvet and comforter left in the house. There were at least 5 or 6 of them laid out one on top of each other to create a fluffy pile.

She stood up and walked over to him, stepping comfortably into his arms as if it were something they'd been doing for years. "It's perfect," she said, leaning in to kiss him. When their lips met it was as if they hadn't even parted a few moments ago. The fire burned red hot in a matter of seconds and Carol kissed him hungrily. They started to tug and kick off clothes as they kissed and groped one another. Even when their lips parted for a brief second to remove a shirt or pull off a shoe it was disappointing.

When the clothes were gone Carol pressed her body against his. It felt so good to have so much bare skin touching. It was intimate and comforting but also very erotic. Daryl showed a patience and maturity that she wasn't expecting but appreciated. He could have just laid her down and got right to it - they were both more than ready, but instead he continued to kiss her and rub his hands all over her naked flesh, exploring her, as if they had all the time in the world and so much lost time to make up for.

His hands were rough, but strong and she loved the way they felt on her body. The intimacy of just enjoying one another so slowly was incredible. There was no rush. No urgency - other than the sexual desire she was having trouble controlling of course. Nothing to interrupt them. No reason to stop. Everything was perfect.

Even when he did move them to the makeshift bed Daryl pulled her down with him and they continued to kiss and touch one another from their knees. The touching was a little different by that point though and the kisses a little more desperate and passionate. He sucked on her neck and her nipples, and gently probed between her legs with his fingers, teasing her, making her even wetter.

Carol reached for him and stroked his dick slowly. Daryl groaned into her mouth and the sound made her shiver. His breath was ragged, almost a pant, when he finally laid her back on the bed. The bliss she felt when he entered her was so incredible she closed her eyes and let her whole body relax as heat spread through her.

The one thing she felt from Daryl was true and deep love and affection. Everything he did was for her and because he loved her. He wasn't a selfish lover - he had a genuine want and need to please her and to show her how much she meant to him. It was such a contrast to the man that most others would see him as - gruff with a chip on his shoulder. But Carol knew the real Daryl. He was sensitive, loving and he felt everything so deeply. When he felt love, loss, terror, happiness, anger - all his emotions were strong, and very powerful. He might have thought he'd changed after the war, but Carol knew the essence of him, his soul and his beautiful heart was the still exactly the same.

They laid tangled up together afterwards and they talked, for close to an hour. They talked about normal stuff - gossip, things they missed, things they didn't. She told him how close her and Lori had become and how special it was for her to have a true female friend in her life. He told her that even though Rick could be overbearing he looked up to him and admired the way he looked after people. They both knew how deeply Rick was affected by what happened with Sophia. Part of Carol would never forgive him, but she knew she could move past that for everyone's benefit.

"We should probably get some sleep," Carol said with a yawn.

Daryl agreed. "Yeah, you're probably right. Just gonna go outside and take a piss first." She smiled as she watched him walk nude to the door and step outside. "Fuck, get dressed," he yelled, poking his head back inside with a panicked look.

Carol's heart started to pound and she climbed out of bed and started to dress. Daryl came running back in a few seconds later and immediately began putting on his clothes. "What's going on?" Carol asked, dreading the answer. Why couldn't things ever just go right for more than a few weeks?

"There's a fire," Daryl said. "I can smell the smoke and see the glow of the flames." Carol felt her chest tighten and it became hard to breathe. "I think it's the farm."

"Oh my God." There was a lump of terror in her throat but there was no time to cry. She finished getting dressed and started throwing supplies in her backpack. When she was done they went around and blew out the candles. Neither one of them spoke as they ran outside, got on the bike and took off.

The smell of smoke got stronger as they got closer to the farm. There was another odor too which Carol realized was the smell of burning flesh. She fought off the nausea and the urge to vomit. All of a sudden the bike swerved left then right and she realized they were dodging walkers. She tightened her grip on Daryl's body. If she fell off she was dead.

Walkers were everywhere. She'd never seen so many. They were swarming the farm - or what was left of it. Everything was on fire. Carol's heart sunk. They were too late, there was nothing they could do. Something caught her eye in the distance. "Look," she nudged Daryl. It was tail lights. Someone had escaped.

Daryl hit the gas and sped up. It was a rough ride but somehow they kept the bike upright and caught up to the tail lights. It was the RV. Without any idea who was still alive they followed. When they turned a corner Carol realized there was also two more vehicles ahead of the RV. Oh my God, maybe they all got away, she thought hopefully. Could there possibly be a silver lining?

Carol felt a tremendous sense of guilt. They should have been there with the others to help, but instead they were alone having one of the best nights of their lives. They had lost the farm - their home. She tightened her arms around Daryl again trying to refocus her mind on things that were positive. Maybe everyone was fine and they could just find a new place to settle.

They drove for several miles and finally the vehicles ahead started to slow and eventually come to a stop. Daryl shut of the bike and Carol climbed off, nervously walking forward to find out who all had survived. When she saw Lori and Carl slip out of the truck she started to run. "Lori," she cried, hugging her friend tightly. The tears were flowing, she couldn't help it, but she certainly wasn't the only one. As more and more people appeared they started to take stock of who was there - and who wasn't. There were tears of joy and relief, but also tears of devastation.

"Beth," she heard Maggie sob against Hershel's chest. Carol looked at Lori, with shock and horror. She was so young.

Lori shook her head sadly. "Patricia, Jimmy and Beth - I saw them - " her voice trailed off and Carol knew Lori had saw the three of them die.

"What about Shane? Andrea?" Carol asked as Rick and the others moved closer.

"Shane is dead," Rick said. His voice was cold, not at all traumatized by the loss of a close friend. Carol shivered - something had happened. "I didn't see Andrea. Anyone?" No one answered which meant she was likely dead.

Carol looked around. Most of them were there - Maggie, Hershel, Glenn, T-Dog, Dale, Rick, Lori, Carl, Daryl and her. Despite losing several people they had got pretty damn lucky given the fire and the herd. But how do you say that to Hershel and Maggie who lost half their family or Dale who was clearly distraught over Andrea? Carol could feel Daryl hovering close behind her. It gave her comfort to know that he needed to be near her just as much as she wanted him there.

Rick cut the silence. "We're all tired, I know, but I think we should head a bit farther down the road, get away from the herd and set up camp for the night." People nodded in agreement and they all slowly headed back to their vehicles.

After driving another 20 minutes they pulled over and made camp in a big open area. Several slept in the RV, but Daryl started a campfire in a makeshift pit he created to contain it and the two of them offered to take first watch for the night.

They sunk to the ground beside the fire. "You okay?" Carol asked, concerned by the look on his face.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "It's just - " Daryl hesitated. "Losing people like that - it takes me back." Carol felt a bit nauseous. She hadn't even considered that losing people might remind him of the war. "The survivor's guilt - it's the same." Although she couldn't relate to the guilt he'd felt during the war, she knew was survivor guilt felt like - they all did.

It felt good that he was opening up to her, even if it was just a little bit. But she didn't want to push and have him clam up, so instead she just leaned against him. The two of them were both very intuitive to non-verbal cues between each other. She wanted to offer him comfort, but at the same time she was seeking it too and Daryl knew that. "We're the lucky ones," Carol whispered, as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

In a world full of terror, death and sadness they had found each other again. After the war Carol thought her life was over. She thought she'd lost the only man she would ever truly love. But years later, in the middle of madness, she was in his arms once again. She had a true friend for the first time in her life in Lori and a group of people who she thought of as family. Things were bad, but things were good. She reached for Daryl's hand and held it. They were together and this time they would stay that way for as long as this insane world would allow it.


End file.
